I used to think US police were probably good guys making the right call most of the time. When something fishy hit the news I tended to think “they must have had a reason.”

Then there was the killing of Walter Scott.

That put a crack in it for me, but it was 2020 that really spun me the rest of the way around. And not just George Floyd himself. It was how police conducted themselves during the protests - every day I saw clips of cops escalating or being brutal to protesters. And several more high profile cases of police brutality happened during the same time. I admit I can’t remember a lot of the names now but I remember them - the kid with the sandwich shot in the back as he tried to enter his home, the guy with the phone in his hand shot in his friend’s garage, the old woman who had her arm dislocated and was then mocked while the cops replayed the video and bragged about it. And others… And always it was that the cops were shown to be liars by video evidence.

I ended 2020 with the view that I believe nothing cops say about any situation without video evidence to back them up. I will never again assume they “must have had a reason” or assume they are making a good faith effort to be truthful. It’s been far too consistent that every time there is a controversy, a video makes liars out of them.

I used to be a dyed-in-the-wool optimist. Now, I’m an avowed cynic, and most people don’t realize it because I’m generally a cheerful person and that serves to mask it somewhat.

My entire adult life has corresponded to the regressive post-9/11 loss of economic and civil liberty that has drastically impacted the poor and working class in America.

Thing is, I truly believed in Obama. I went to a rally where Michelle spoke in September 2008. In late October, Obama dropped by for a rally, and there were so many of us that the organizers had to cut the line off and we had to sit on a nearby hill and just listen. I was 100%, absolutely certain that real, lasting change was coming.

But nope. Our two wars became seven. (That we know of.) Occupy was brutally crushed by the NYPD with Obama’s tacit approval. Police became militarized, even after Ferguson. Torture continued and the War on Terror continued unabated, despite Obama having a mandate to end it. No one from Wall Street that crashed our economy for profit went to prison, even though a foreclosure crisis followed. Life began to become unaffordable and the minimum wage stayed at $7 an hour. Despite having the votes to universalize health care, Obama made it more expensive instead. The cherry on top was that Obama gave us Tom Homan.

All of these problems have continued and worsened in the decade since 2016, despite both parties having total power for years at a time.

Now, no matter who we elect at the federal (and mostly state) level, I know things are never getting better.

My only power is local. Thankfully, my city is doing good things, so there’s that, but if I had the money to do so I’d leave this country completely and reside abroad instead.

I was born and raised in the deep south (U.S.) surrounded by conservatives. I retired in the south with 98% conservative colleagues. I spent 50 years turning the other cheek to conservatives, being patient, using the Socratic method, being a good son, a good grandson, a good brother, good friend and good neighbor to conservatives. Then Trump came along.

I now see how absolutely short-sighted and naive I was thinking the arrogant, unintelligent, bigoted, hateful, grinning monsters all around me could ever possibly become kind humans. Conservatives are exactly as evil as they appear. It’s not an illusion and they will never change.

Conservatives are biologically unable to experience empathy. This core understanding of conservatives explains so much about them. Their relationships are shallow because deep connections require empathy. It explains why bigotry and cruelty comes so easily to them. It explains how they can literally brag about killing a puppy and receive positive feedback from fellow conservatives.

I will never trust a conservative again as long as I live. I cannot unsee how genuinely cruel and evil they are and I can no longer be misled to believe they can change. It took a lifetime, but I understand what they are now and I am appropriately horrified by them.

I stopped being religious a few years ago. I was a christian universalist, but I genuinely do not want to be associated with Christians or Christianity. As far as im concerned, they sold the farm to back a murderous pedophile.

literally yesterday a book changed my mind about how much alcohol I’m comfortable consuming

since I’ve started getting horrible hangovers in my 30s I’ve limited myself to 1-2 drinks in one evening, once a month or so, and that worked for me

the book detailed how alcohol absolutely wrecks your sleep. yeah i think I’m done drinking for the rest of my life now lol

Israel.

I used to support Israel, until I heard about them executing children in Gaza.

When I first learned that people were transitioning their gender, I was very much “live and let live,” but took exception at having to call people their preferred pronoun. It seemed like a rigged game to me, like they wanted you to guess at what their gender is, and if you got it wrong, you’re a bigot.

Then my wife was like “what harm does it do to call them what they prefer?”

And I thought about all the hurtful names people teased me with at school, and how I wished they would’ve just called me by my name.

So I said “OK,” and that was that. It hasn’t been as hard as I thought to recognize what people wish to be called. Unless you’re dealing with a “they/them,” then they gotta tell you. Or if you’re dealing with a butch lesbian that dresses boy-ish. On those occasions, I just try not to use any pronouns or talk to them extensively for fear of messing up.

I used to believe I had an ex-girlfriend in Chicago, but once that person came out as nonbinary trans with he/they pronouns I now know that I have an ex-boyfriend/ex-theyfriend in Chicago.

I used to think Tankies were misguided but harmless. Now I understand, if they got their way, they’d be dangerous.

I got into a fairly in depth conversation with one of them where they explained that they believed that the suspension of freedom, suppression of speech and expression, and sustained authoritarianism were necessary to achieve the socialist utopia. Except worse, they believe that these bad things should be in place until the entire world was socialist. If even one country wasn’t socialist, that would be the justification for suppression on the rest of the entire world. So essentially they’re defending worldwide authoritarianism and suppression of everyone in perpetuity.

I’d point you to this conversation so you could be your own judge, but true to their suppression methods, they exercised their own authoritarianism, deleted all my posts on the subject leaving only their own, because they said I was speaking against socialism and that can’t be allowed fulfilling the exact authoritarianism and suppression I was citing as a problem with their philosophy.

That progress is inevitable.

gestures wildly

This feels basic now but I used to be very ‘pro tech’ and would have latest-ish phones, getting smart gadgets, etc.

Now I consider those features to be negatives and refuse to buy things with internet, if possible.

The use of language. My mom was a proofreader for a handful of local editorials, so the “correctness” of language was pushed very hard on to me from very little. As a result, I pushed for “correct” language onto others very hard as well. And this isnt about English, but my birth language, which has lots of conjugation rules, gendering details, grammar quirks and special cases; so people do tend to deviate from proper grammar a lot in informal settings (and sometimes in formal as well). I became a “language nazi” of sorts, and noticed quickly how people spoke fearfully in front of me to avoid making mistakes and getting corrected. This was something I (regretfully) took pride of.

Until one day, a friend of mine which specialized in languages said to me: “Language isn’t prescriptive; it’s descriptive”. And it took a while, a plethora of questions, and infinite patience from her, but I eventually came around and understood what she was saying: language is what we use to convey ideas from one to the other. We stick to a given language and grammar (structure) because that’s the common agreement for the language speakers, in the expectations that it makes for easier communication. BUT, if a sentence can transmit correctly a thought, even when not using a word in the dictionary or not applying grammar rules, then it’s fine as long as me (or whomever is the interlocutor) understands what they’re trying to say. Furthermore, even when using proper grammar with “existing words”, communication can be confusing and requires clarification. If you can make up a word in the spot that better conveys what you’re trying to say, then I’m all for it! (And probably will start using it myself). If you learned to speak a certain way and call stuff a different name from what I learned, or if you add extra letters to the word because that’s what you were taught by your family (something very usual) then that’s cool and I’ll respect it.

TLDR: Language has no rules. It is what we make of it.

I used to be a conservative Christian. I was vehemently opposed to things like gay marriage and abortion.

Then I actually moved to a larger city and met gay people and, well, that became the crux of my deconstruction. Turns out people are people, no matter where or how they’re born, or what they choose to be or identify as.

My views on abortion have changed, to the point where I very much do not believe in fetal personhood, though I still think late-term abortions should be shied away from if they can be avoided. Regardless, it makes no sense to remove a woman’s right to choose how her body is used. It’s hers. If she doesn’t want to put her body through childbirth, or doesn’t want to take on the immense burden of raising a child, she shouldn’t have to. But, at the same time, dudes should be aware of what they can inflict upon a woman just because ‘it doesn’t feel as good’ with a condom on. Wrap it before you tap it, boys.

The flu vaccine (pre Covid). Always been pro vax in general, just never saw the need since I never had symptomatic flu. My immune system is good enough, right?

Well, it was like a switch flipped in my brain. One day, I suddenly realized getting the shot isn’t about me. If I don’t vaccinate, I get the flu, and I don’t have symptoms.

That makes me a carrier. I’m a disease vector. Somewhere throughout my day, I’m going to pass it on to some immunocompromised person, and I will be the reason someone’s grandma doesn’t make it for the holidays.

“Just the flu” still kills hundreds of thousands of people every year.

After the October 7 attack I was very pro isreal. Of course it’s totally unacceptable for a neighbor to enter one’s territory and kill hundreds of innocent civilians. You can’t commit such an act of terrorism without consequences. However I have seen that the Israeli invasion has been all but moral and the use of the word genocide feels more and more justified. It has gone way over board and I have staunchly become anti isreal. The war was supposed to be a war on Hamas but the innocent civilians in Gaza have had to bear with unbelievable suffering which I no longer believe justifies the war.