While your feelings are completely valid, I think most people experience the opposite. Even back when my preferred pronouns were only she/her, being he/him’d felt like a punch to the face, and they/them just slid right past me. Maybe that was just a sign that I’d end up being okay with she/they (at least from cis people, my preference around other queer folks is pup/it).
Oh yeah for sure I am not typical. I might be closer to enby than trans woman, idk. I see other trans women be so sure and confident, like “I am a woman and I’m going to make the changes to bring my body and appearance in line with that” and I’m over here uncomfortable calling myself a woman, slowly following the trail of happiness breadcrumbs that are leading me to being a woman. I think I dislike they/them so much because it plays into my insecurity and doubt. I like she/her but I don’t mind he/him cause that still feels like who I am at the moment, even if that’s not who I want to be. They/them just feels like people walking on eggshells around me afraid to offend me and unknowingly doing the exact opposite. In the end it doesn’t really matter, the rest of my life is far more painful than gender problems
tbh i feel almost exactly the same way (though i’m probably not enby).
she/her feels dangerous, because if i act or am treated as femme then the transphobes in my life might start to suspect me. they/them just feels totally wrong, it’s not who i am. he/him at least feels safe, because it won’t raise any suspicions…
AND just like you, gender is probably gonna be the least painful part of the next decade for me lol
While your feelings are completely valid, I think most people experience the opposite. Even back when my preferred pronouns were only she/her, being he/him’d felt like a punch to the face, and they/them just slid right past me. Maybe that was just a sign that I’d end up being okay with she/they (at least from cis people, my preference around other queer folks is pup/it).
Oh yeah for sure I am not typical. I might be closer to enby than trans woman, idk. I see other trans women be so sure and confident, like “I am a woman and I’m going to make the changes to bring my body and appearance in line with that” and I’m over here uncomfortable calling myself a woman, slowly following the trail of happiness breadcrumbs that are leading me to being a woman. I think I dislike they/them so much because it plays into my insecurity and doubt. I like she/her but I don’t mind he/him cause that still feels like who I am at the moment, even if that’s not who I want to be. They/them just feels like people walking on eggshells around me afraid to offend me and unknowingly doing the exact opposite. In the end it doesn’t really matter, the rest of my life is far more painful than gender problems
tbh i feel almost exactly the same way (though i’m probably not enby).
she/her feels dangerous, because if i act or am treated as femme then the transphobes in my life might start to suspect me. they/them just feels totally wrong, it’s not who i am. he/him at least feels safe, because it won’t raise any suspicions…
AND just like you, gender is probably gonna be the least painful part of the next decade for me lol