- cross-posted to:
- funny@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- funny@lemmy.ml
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Germany starts world war 3
The rest of the world: “how do we keep falling for this?”
Let’s make sure to start the campaign in autumn so we are deep inside Russia during the coldest parts of winter. Let’s also make sure to only take light summer clothing.
That sort of idea seems great when everyone is taking Pervitin all the time.
Pervitin, the brand name that Meth was originally sold under.
Legal meth? Sign me up!
I’m sure if it came to it, Canada would send some good folks along as well.
We might get a bit busy but I’m sure we can spare one or two war crimes their way.
I am ok if Europe wants to send troops to Canada to defend against the real enemy—the United States.
Ukrainians: “the Germans are here to liberate us from the Russian yoke. And they actually mean it this time!”
Tbf Poland would be joining them this time around.
Last time Russia and Germany invaded Poland together. Presumably this would be Germany and Poland invading Russia.
They did last time too, just not quite as voluntarily
They’re allowed to take out one German tank with light cavalry, for old time’s sake.
You know…as the battlefield becomes ever more automated, there might be a very brief window where the winged hussars could make a comeback.
Let’s say you have a battlefield riddled with smart drones. They have image recognition and immediately attack anything resembling a tank or other military asset. Do you think anyone bothered to program the drones to seek out and attack a unit outfit like 18th century Polish cavalry? A charge on horseback just might be able to ride completely undisturbed through the right kind of drone-controlled battlefield.
and you just fucking ruined what would have been the coolest thing ever by putting it in public!
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED
Ukranian drones are already equipped to target the latest Russian logistic vehicles, donkeys.
You could submit this plan to !noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works
They would be programmed to kill anything that moved just to be sure they get everything. They will be deployed like mine fields except the owners could disable them to move through the drone field.
Okay well I’m just going to air blast gravel at them then.
Or you could just get a big block of lead and mount it on a remote controlled chassis and just drive it around. At 6 mi an hour.
Do you want your drones to burn through their numbers attacking deer and birds? That’s what happens if you set them to attack anything.
The moment they are activated they’ll just blow each other up. Could be fun to watch.
You guys have the most experience with that sort of thing
Oh no the innocent Germans are being forced to become Nazis by other western countries. It’s definitely not because the entire west worked with Nazis after WW2 to “fight communism”.
The Nazis never left Germany. They just expanded beyond it.
They worked with them DURING WW2 from the moment it was clear the germs would lose.
Ahh polandball. I missed these
These always remind me that I’m a dumb American.
We can stand to be roasted more then a little bit.
That may help us with our fat problem. I hear heat renders fat into liquid grease…
You hear? You have to experience it. Roasting isn’t just good for meat, it’s great for a lot of veggies… and arrogant assholes too!
Poland: “What about attacking Russia alongside with an ally?”
Aye, I could do that.
Germany: “i thought these days would never come again. Fighting russia with poland and france like we did late 1700s and early 1800s”
The original band coming back for one more single.
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Wouldnt say it was a band. Napoleon forced some of the germans, the others joined because they wanted to be on the winning side, and the poles fought with Bonaparte for their freedom
So like a supergroup. Like the Highwaymen.
🎶"I wore a picklehaube, on the Rhineland I did ride…" 🎶
🎵🎶 I spilled the blood of the Saxon men🎶🎵
I know Charlemagne doesn’t fit the definition of a Supergroup, but that’s simply because when the term was coined, Christopher Lee hadn’t joined any bands yet. So the creators of the term forgot to leave in the loophole that any band with Christopher Lee is also a Supergroup.
No thank you. Defensive alliance, sure. But not attacking. We’re supposed to be the good guys, after all.
Assuming the internet exists in the future…
It’s a bold assumption.
I work almost entirely on things that use/need the Internet, and I know enough about how it all works that… The Internet existing in the future, is not guaranteed. At all.
This would be much more concerning if they hadn’t so thoroughly stamped out fascism. What’s the alternative for Germany?
Not totally. Fascism did take over 20% of the vote in last month’s election.
stamped out fascism
Alternative for Germany (Deutschland)
🤭…
💀…
Fascism was never stamped out. Wall street supported it heavily and now they fully control the us political and military machine. We came full circle. The nazi’s didnt loose the war their ideology infected those with control today. Central banks funded the third reich and those same financial institutions are still empowered and playing a part today. War and genocide / eugenics is a part of their business model.
If only there were a list of names… and addresses…
AfD is a nazi party. With tied to Blood and Honor, Proud Boys, constantly yelling nazi quotes, nazi saluting in private and small meetings, copying their rethoric and imagin aso
I can’t tell if that’s a lucky coincidence or a reference, but the Alternative for Germany (AfD) are the biggest voices in support of fascism in Germany, and they just won 20% of the seats in parliament. Luckily, even the CXU won’t form a coalition with them yet, so they will hopefully not have much impact on things.
Ironically, the AfD doesn’t want to militarize against Russia (but don’t be too reassured, they do want to reinstate mandatory conscription and militarize generally, just not against daddy Putin)
Fascism is back on the rise there, unfortunately.
I thought my little AfD reference at the end would give me away.
I thought it was clear
I think the widespread political “unwavering support” for a nation committing Genocide, which is justified by the ethnicity of the people of that nation, kinda shows that some part of Fascism (the whole “people’s race is what matters the most and some races are better than others”) hasn’t at all been stamped out.
Then there’s AfD which is just taking the “if it’s good to support them because of their race, then it’s good to support us” step closer to Fascism.
Germany is far closer to a certain philosophy anchored on classifying one’s fellow human being as worthy or unworthy depending on race than one would like to believe (certainly, I liked to believe before the political reaction there to whole Gaza thing made it too obvious to deny) - the symbols were made illegal whilst the spirit lives.
The alternative is to not build a giant army and use the money in something more useful that will benefit germans and humanity
And whenever Russia wants some land it’s just handed over?
Only if you believe the government and a bunch of corrupted politicians who never fought a war will save you.
Thoroughly?
Supporting companies? … <cough>
Germany was never fully denazified. There’s a reason the New Left in Germany was so militant. Kiesinger was in the Nazi Party!
Yeah the Schreibtischnazis and industrial-nazis never got punished. And not to speak of east germany who employed SS and Gestapo members in their StaSi
Yeah, we know, irony is dead. But if the world made sense then the Orange Idiot wouldn’t be in charge.
Poland has been pouring everything into their military, they are VERY ready for this to all go sideways. I can’t blame them.
Good.
Yeah they have a history of things going sideways around them given the location
Also the location of Poland was going sideways multiple times in history
Honestly, if they’d finessed their phrasing a little, that could have been a really good answer.
If it were up to me i would have only 3 conditions to allow poland go wild towards vladivostok
- Please have a winged hursar blow a horn to signal the attack (would be cool)
- Invite germany and france to tag along
- Dont take Königsberg for yourself but you may kick out the russians there <3
Their next cavalry charge towards enemy tanks is almost ready!
Can we call humans riding other humans or donkeys cavalry?
Like a fetish thing?
If Germany had started with, and stuck to, attacking Russia, I doubt it’d have been a world war. I don’t remember who all were Russia’s allies at the start, but IIRC only the French were particularly fond of Russia. There weren’t a lot of the usual royal contract-through-marriage, were there? Did many nobles have Russian cousins?
#PATTON WAS RIGHT
Pretty sure that last time they had already taken a couple other countries before heading to Russia. Stopping at Russia was already too late.
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Well, yeah. That’s why I qualified it with “if they had started with…” You’re right, though; they couldn’t have invaded Russia without first going through a couple of other countries first. They could have technically invaded Russia while minimally involving other countries by going through Poland to get to Kaliningrad Oblast. But then they’d be stuck again; they’d have to have taken Belarus to get to Moscow.
So: Poland, Belarus, and next stop: Miscow! Easy peasy. Talk the Japanese out of antagonizing the US and have them focus on Russia, with a promise to divide it. Not that the Japanese would have been much help on mainland Russia, but it’d at least give them something else to worry about.
I’m afraid you’re gonna have to come up with a specific timeframe here.
WW1? The Germany Empire wasn’t really the spark for this one. The entire royalty of the continent was effectively cousins. There may be some wiggle room, but most of them were literal cousins, with Wilhelm II and Nicholas II being most notable in this context.
Nobody was ‘fond’ of Russia in any way. Most European nations then saw it as they do now- large, unpredictable, and territorially aggressive. France and Britain were a part of the Triple Entente not because they trusted each other, but because it was a reasonably sensible counter to the Triple Alliance.
WW2? Royal intermarriage was mostly a moot point after the first go around even in nations that managed to not get their entire lineages deposed. As for the Soviet Union, still wildly unpopular. If your point is that Nazi Germany might have gotten away with things if they’d stayed tied up with Russia instead of trying to diversify their murder portfolio- I’d disagree. They would have gotten the OK from other Western powers for a time, but would still crumple from internal strife, the war was as much a wallpapering of those issues as it was any grand ambitions of Hitler’s.
I think the point is more that for WW2 the other nations would have just left them to it more. Maybe profit off the increased demand for materials. However, the war started because of Germany invading Poland, and you kinda need to go through Poland to get to the USSR.
Encourage the USSR to try and take all of Poland first, then attack back when they are getting close? Not sure tbh.
Sure, good point; I assumed we were taking about WWII because - as you point out - Germany wasn’t the instigator, and OPs post seemed to imply WWII.
And I disagree about the irrelevance of noble ties at the start of WWII. Yes, most of the countries involved were no longer monarchies, but names still had weight. Take Thurn und Taxis in Germany, for instance.
I grant that by 1930 they weren’t the drivers of policy, and even before that Europe’s royalty were regularly going to war with their cousins. But few in the hereditary European elite had many ties to Russia.
I didn’t say Germany would have won a war with Russia, only that if they had, and has stayed focused on Russia, it wouldn’t have become a world war. There’d have been no “Allies”.
There’s a big caveat there, though, and that’s Japan. Germany attacking Russia would have naturally resulted in an alliance with Japan in any case, and once America got involved now the Germans are allied against the Americans. Without the Western front, though, America could have focused all efforts on Japan and might have allied with Russia; the Pacific conflict might have been shorter, and not ended with the Bomb. But once Japan’s defeated, does America continue to reinforce Russia against Japan’s former allies, the Germans?
I also wonder what role Africa would have played. Germany was always going to need to go after the oil, and what alliances would have resulted from that? I don’t think any of the Western countries saw Africa as anything more than a source of natural resources, so it would have been less “coming to their aid” and more “protecting our assets there”.
Without an invasion of France, or aggression against the UK directly, would the UK have gotten involved, or would Chamberlain’s policy held? I feel as if France, if anything, would have only dug in and fortified their borders, and watched.
The aristocrats of the western empires may have still carried weight to their names, but the Great Depression was really putting strain on the legitimacy and popularity of the established order.
As for Japan: they were already scrapping with the Soviets at the time in Khalkhin Gol. If anything the American entry to the war freed the Soviets to just a single front. American efforts in the European theater I largely take to be more “maintaining market access” to the UK and France than any real desire to be there.
France may have sat back, but I kinda doubt it. A weakened Germany after fighting the Soviets would have tempted them to retake lands east of the Rhine that they’d lost following the Napoleonic campaigns. My take is that none of the powers were peacable or invested in the status quo, just less rabid about expansion than the Nazis.
Oh, yeah. It’s all wild speculation. The Germans and French have been trading land on that border for so long, there’s no way Germany or France wouldn’t start something at some point.
