If I’m sitting on a busy bus for example, and two people, a couple, sit in front of me and start making out with some tongue on tongue action, I’m going to be disturbed. I’m not comfortable with that, and I didn’t consent to seeing that.
People have their kinks and sexually intimate acts that they’re into. Consent on both parties is important, but what’s important as well is the consent of people around you in seeing that. A regular kiss, hug, or other purely romantic or platonic show of affection you don’t need other people’s consent for, so a person claiming “consent” when gay people hold hands or kiss in front of them is just a bigot.
For the same reason I wouldn’t send a picture of kink art I know a friend isn’t into without their consent, I also wouldn’t indulge in my kinks in public where I know most people won’t be into it, as they didn’t consent to, for example, seeing me on a leash in this case (not my thing, hypothetical application of the pic).
I don’t want to totally derail you here, and I do understand where you’re coming from - but is it interesting to you that you say “making out” requires consent from other people to see but that a “regular kiss, hug, or other purely romantic or platonic show of affection” does not?
Genuinely, without meaning to sound hostile - why does what you are comfortable seeing dictate what other people need to get consent from the public for? What if I’m uncomfortable seeing any kind of kissing at all? What if I’m completely comfortable seeing more than you?
Why can’t I draw the line and decide what requires consent from the public instead of you? I might well draw that line in a different place entirely.
You’ve said exactly what I was trying to say, and much more elegantly than I would have!
Obviously you shouldn’t include people in your sex that don’t consent, but is simply being visible to someone including them?
In some cases, it’s a clear yes. Flashing is a good example, because without the audience, the flasher wouldn’t get sexual gratification. For other activities, like leash holding, there’s probably an element of exhibitionism, but that isn’t necessarily the whole point of it.
I reject the idea that we have a right to not be disgusted. Like you mention, everyone’s idea of what is acceptable and what isn’t can vary widely. A homophobe would be disgusted by seeing a same-sex kiss, and I might be disgusted by seeing someone wearing socks and sandals. Our disgust is not a sufficient harm to justify limiting the freedoms of others.
Oh god, I didn’t assume you’re anywhere near the dickwad in the picture. You’re all good on that front!
My point is, well, so what if two people are aggressively making out? What’s inherently wrong with that?
Thanks for that.
If I’m sitting on a busy bus for example, and two people, a couple, sit in front of me and start making out with some tongue on tongue action, I’m going to be disturbed. I’m not comfortable with that, and I didn’t consent to seeing that.
People have their kinks and sexually intimate acts that they’re into. Consent on both parties is important, but what’s important as well is the consent of people around you in seeing that. A regular kiss, hug, or other purely romantic or platonic show of affection you don’t need other people’s consent for, so a person claiming “consent” when gay people hold hands or kiss in front of them is just a bigot.
For the same reason I wouldn’t send a picture of kink art I know a friend isn’t into without their consent, I also wouldn’t indulge in my kinks in public where I know most people won’t be into it, as they didn’t consent to, for example, seeing me on a leash in this case (not my thing, hypothetical application of the pic).
I don’t want to totally derail you here, and I do understand where you’re coming from - but is it interesting to you that you say “making out” requires consent from other people to see but that a “regular kiss, hug, or other purely romantic or platonic show of affection” does not?
Genuinely, without meaning to sound hostile - why does what you are comfortable seeing dictate what other people need to get consent from the public for? What if I’m uncomfortable seeing any kind of kissing at all? What if I’m completely comfortable seeing more than you?
Why can’t I draw the line and decide what requires consent from the public instead of you? I might well draw that line in a different place entirely.
You’ve said exactly what I was trying to say, and much more elegantly than I would have!
Obviously you shouldn’t include people in your sex that don’t consent, but is simply being visible to someone including them?
In some cases, it’s a clear yes. Flashing is a good example, because without the audience, the flasher wouldn’t get sexual gratification. For other activities, like leash holding, there’s probably an element of exhibitionism, but that isn’t necessarily the whole point of it.
I reject the idea that we have a right to not be disgusted. Like you mention, everyone’s idea of what is acceptable and what isn’t can vary widely. A homophobe would be disgusted by seeing a same-sex kiss, and I might be disgusted by seeing someone wearing socks and sandals. Our disgust is not a sufficient harm to justify limiting the freedoms of others.