Didn’t Jesus literally turn water into wine? So God literally produced the original alcohol. So it’s all his fault.
I know that the wine back then typically had the alcohol content of seawater and was mostly drunk because water purification wasn’t really possible, but it’s their belief system so I’m going to hit them over the head with it.
Not the original by any stretch. The story is that he made the wine because they ran out of wine while the party was still going. He just didn’t want his friend’s wedding reception to flop. But the host was still somewhat embarrassed because everybody liked the new wine so much more and said “hey dummy, don’t you know you’re supposed to serve the quality wine first, and the shit wine after we’re too drunk to care?”
Pretty sure we were guzzling hooch since those first monkeys discovered a pile of half rotten fruit, ate it, vomited, then ate the rest and woke up with a prehistoric hangover. JC was just a garden variety bootlegger
Yeah I don’t think they knew how to make grape juice not alcoholic back then. Grape juice just does that unless you pasteurize it, which was discovered in the 1800s by an American Methodist. It certainly wasn’t low enough alcohol to be consumed by people on the wagon unless it was very fresh.
Yeah, looking at Wikipedia, the old testament says to give the dying wine so they forget their pain, you ain’t getting that from kombucha. It looks like the Sumerian goddess of beer was said to be the result of a drunken hookup between a king and Ishtar, and like the Egyptians were culturally celebrating with beer, wine, and drunkenness using beers of comparable alcohol content to modern day (5% ABV).
Meanwhile here there’s an estimate of Romans drinking about half a liter of undiluted wine a day. They mixed it 50/50 with water typically, which in a modern wine would put it around a modern beer in potency. We can assume it’s reasonably potent wine specifically because those drinking undiluted wine in Rome faced social stigma associated with alcoholism.
I’m specifically avoiding sources speaking on Jewish history here because when I looked the Christians outnumbered the academics by a lot, which makes sense as teetotaling Protestants have issues with the amount of wine in Christianity.
Didn’t Jesus literally turn water into wine? So God literally produced the original alcohol. So it’s all his fault.
I know that the wine back then typically had the alcohol content of seawater and was mostly drunk because water purification wasn’t really possible, but it’s their belief system so I’m going to hit them over the head with it.
Not the original by any stretch. The story is that he made the wine because they ran out of wine while the party was still going. He just didn’t want his friend’s wedding reception to flop. But the host was still somewhat embarrassed because everybody liked the new wine so much more and said “hey dummy, don’t you know you’re supposed to serve the quality wine first, and the shit wine after we’re too drunk to care?”
Pretty sure we were guzzling hooch since those first monkeys discovered a pile of half rotten fruit, ate it, vomited, then ate the rest and woke up with a prehistoric hangover. JC was just a garden variety bootlegger
Yeah I don’t think they knew how to make grape juice not alcoholic back then. Grape juice just does that unless you pasteurize it, which was discovered in the 1800s by an American Methodist. It certainly wasn’t low enough alcohol to be consumed by people on the wagon unless it was very fresh.
Yeah, looking at Wikipedia, the old testament says to give the dying wine so they forget their pain, you ain’t getting that from kombucha. It looks like the Sumerian goddess of beer was said to be the result of a drunken hookup between a king and Ishtar, and like the Egyptians were culturally celebrating with beer, wine, and drunkenness using beers of comparable alcohol content to modern day (5% ABV).
Meanwhile here there’s an estimate of Romans drinking about half a liter of undiluted wine a day. They mixed it 50/50 with water typically, which in a modern wine would put it around a modern beer in potency. We can assume it’s reasonably potent wine specifically because those drinking undiluted wine in Rome faced social stigma associated with alcoholism.
I’m specifically avoiding sources speaking on Jewish history here because when I looked the Christians outnumbered the academics by a lot, which makes sense as teetotaling Protestants have issues with the amount of wine in Christianity.
There’s video of animals getting blasted on fermented natural fruit… it really does happen on its own.
There’s even this rare syndrome, that turns your gut into a micro brewery
Bartender: Enough drinking, mate, I’m cutting you off, just water for you from now on.
Jesus (the fairytale one): Aw, man, come on…
“You blew an 9.99 on the breathalyzer, you’ve had enough”