I have composed a piece of written musings on the tools choice in clay sculpting which I put on a display on a public internet forum.
I have received following advice: Go seek therapy.
However upon checking my vaults it has become apparent that they are barren.
What should I do in this situation?
Online therapy is good. One of the major downsides is it doesn’t get you going outside though, which is a major benefit of therapy at a clinic.
Other than that, make more friends and chat it out with them (join a run club in your city, for example) or use an AI therapist. There’s a lot of people who will shreik and yell at these options, but if you have no other options, they’re great
I think people will hate me tbh, that’s why I don’t join clubs or stuff like that
Not even discord servers. Not even talking to similar people or within the group that should like me cause if they hate me that would be crushing if you know what I mean
Hence I often get to know people who already hate me like alt right or some bullies, toxic ppl, because that is… less risky? Somehow. I don’t truly care about them so if they hate me this feels like nothing. but if someone who I really look up to would hate me… well, that would be rather extremely painful
Actually that would probably make me hate them psychotically as a some kind of subjective defense of identity. And what is understood by me as ‘hate’ is very sensitive. Merely sideways stare that I would interpret too much will make me go off to some deep end (but only if it is from someone in some group that I should belong to)
If it is some aggressive looking, young male with bald head and ugly stare then I will just feel like on a safari and see the dangerous wildlife that should be avoided. Scary of course, adrenaline going but not something that lasts in my mind
I am not afraid of wolves or tigers. But what I am afraid of is a woman that will thrust a knife in my heart and kill it
Yeah. I’m going to say keep trying with the therapy thing.