“Shit, hang on. No, no, this one, this one goes in your mouth.”

Fuck, help, I keep getting distracted and confused and I’ve been here for an hour trying to figure out which one to look at. Please help this old lady reach lemon-egg attention peace.

I love this game. Used to be all about it when I was younger. It’s also the only NES rom on my phone these days.

My parents are at the point where they’re misgendering me with they/them instead of he/him.

I’ve half a mind to cut them off but I’m trying not to. Trying to be good. They got about ten years left before they cut me (and the world) off.

Honestly that sounds like a good all-purpose paste.

Sadly, it won’t. But I did put a hundred bucks straight into Caleb Hiltunen’s hands not long ago.

I pirate the band’s work, then show up to a concert and put raw cash directly into the band’s hands and tell them thanks.

Naturally, this only works for smaller shows where the band show up at merch afterward.

I mean, yes, I’m married to another woman. It’s all on public record. Can even go to the courthouse to check.

That’s cause Star Citizen is a grift.

I still follow the news cause as a trans woman, I gotta know if I’m allowed to do things like travel and pee and get groceries.

I’m married to one of them! She’s small and bookish and dresses like it’s a hundred years ago, and she’s adorable.

“You got whacked cause you’re weak” is something that crosses my lips fairly often.

It’s a damn shame the DS version tried to reroll that.

I went the other way. I went from an attractive femboy to a middle aged woman who hides under a massive purple beanie, with headphones on.

Yes. “Sex workers” is the terminology in English. Some people who offer no sex and get registered by the state are professional cuddlers though.

Hey, let’s get just the letter U tattooed! Not “you,” just “u.” This is gonna be permanent, dammit! Also, don’t write “forever,” put a four cause that’s how I know it’s spelled from texting in 2005. Also, can it be made illegible? Excellent. Slap that shit on my body, pronto!

I make fun of you a bit, but it’s sensible. Beats using the same towel too often.

Like, you whip it off your shoulders and lash it out at a monster, and just like that, the towel is dirty‽

Just sashaying up to the counter, “a number nine combo and a medium sex.”

Those are knees, a second and a half after seeing the picture.