Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a heavy but utterly amused heart that I share this breaking news: about two weeks ago, masked assailants stormed our top-secret HQ and dragged our beloved mod, verity_kindle, off to one of those “pray the plane away” camps. Apparently, their drugs must be top-notch, because she’s now claiming she’s no longer aerosexual! Yes, folks, she’s turned in her mod card to pursue a life of toilet-training pets, daily bathing, and other hippie crap. What a betrayal.

In light of this travesty, we’re honoring her request for a proper send-off: a full-blown Roast. She swears nothing is off-limits—so don’t hold back. After all, she broke the SACRED MOD OATH™, and there must be consequences!

For those who don’t know, verity_kindle was here from day one. When we bailed out on Reddit en masse, she stepped up and helped turn this place into a true home—while juggling her own battles with cancer, no less. (Sadly for us, my assassins still haven’t succeeded in finishing her off. She’s annoyingly resilient like that.)

But hey, she’s not dead yet, so we’ll all have the pleasure of seeing her around now and then—even if she’s gone full hippie and refuses to get high off jet fuel with us anymore. So take advantage of this moment and roast her mercilessly. She deserves it for forsaking the planes!

All jokes aside, we really do love you, verity_kindle, and we’re thankful for everything you’ve done. Now let’s bring the heat, people—after all, she asked for it!

  • nuke@sh.itjust.worksOPMEnglish
    39·
    23 days ago

    Talk about giving up the easiest job ever. I mean how hard can it be to mod NCD? All we do is just ban people we don’t like and roll a D12 for the reason.

    • RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.worldEnglish
      24·
      23 days ago

      I am a Lemmy mod and can confirm this is 100% true. Every Lemmy mod does this, the function is built right into the mod options right under the “Evil Mod Power” option.

  • DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    32·
    23 days ago

    Fuck cancer!

    Also, does she have some sort of sexual dysfunction? That seems like the most plausible explanation of no longer finding aircraft attractive.

  • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksMEnglish
    27·
    23 days ago

    Verity_kindle, you keep blaming others for the car accident, but we all know you’re the type of driver who’d be better off with a cope cage on your car.

    • verity_kindle@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      11·
      23 days ago

      DAYUM, dyin here …Should we offer a small prize for the most savage insult? Not that neidu3 would win it. Too many alts to be trusted, he’s lost his EDGE

  • Gork@lemm.eeEnglish
    21·
    23 days ago

    No longer aerosexual? But how can anyone not be turned on by fighter jet porn?

  • imaqtpie@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    11·
    23 days ago

    Verity Kindle sounds like the Mary Sue heroine of a trashy romance novel set in the Antebellum South. She ends up in a love triangle with the handsome young slave boy and the dashing plantation owner’s son, but can she teach them the meaning of love before it’s too late? Good grief, what a load of shite.

  • RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    23 days ago

    She has now entered the “wants to settle down and have kids” phase.

    I haven’t been here long verity, but it has been an honor o7

  • verity_kindle@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    5·
    19 days ago

    I may have sold my sacred MODOATH for a dozen eggs and then failed to inform any of you when the PINs changed on the hangar doors and S-2 canceled your fake CACs. THAT’S LIFE. Life did that. Nuke did a pretty good job hosting and his bargain bin assassins aside, I enjoyed the roast and hold no grudge against him or anyone. Except John Kerry and Spez. To me, you are all the shopping cart I get every time I go to the Piggly Wiggly. Sure, one wheel is wonky, it’s covered in sour milk and the folding seat doesn’t hold my stuff, but it’s familiar. You can rely on its broken funkiness to turn up in the queue. I will be commenting from the Joplin Continental until Nuke manages to get the message across to his minions that the order is cancelled. Thank you, magic trash can.