• shalafi@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Wait till OP sees the same scene, but she’s 6" taller. Then he’ll really freak.

    (Guys. Do not thou be afraid. I’ve dated women taller than me, by 5". It’s nice. That’s all.)

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      I’ve also dated women taller than me and had no issue, my issue is simply that I find it funny how bodyshaming is only ok when you do it to men (no hair, fat gut, small peepee, short, etc) but any other time it’s bad and you should feel bad. How come “manlet” still gets a pass but we’ve deprecated “whale?”

      Frankly I bet no shortage of those incels are fat or short guys with small weewees and bad hair and that the bodyshaming helps cement them in their misanthropic position, “why even try, I can’t grow taller or afford hair/dick surgery, yadda yadda…” Sure the fat can be worked on, but do we tell fat women that are lonely to slim down? Not anymore, that used to be true but now it’s bodyshaming and you’re the asshole for doing it, so why shouldn’t fat men love their bodies too? Body positivity isn’t only for women.

      I guess what I’m trying to say is “Yeah, do not thou be afraid, but some of this shit needs to be talked about because it seems incongruous with reason, and honestly it may contribute to the problem.”

      • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        Body shaming isn’t okay for anyone. Men have always shared their preferences (“No fat chicks,” “No dark women,” “no tall women,” “blondes/Asians/Latina only”), but once women started to share their preferences (usually height and money), suddenly men see the cruelty of it. It sucks that it only really started becoming an issue in response to women’s autonomy.

        There’s nothing wrong with short men, fat men, etc., but they’re now on a level playing field. Women’s personality is almost never important, it’s how they look. They’re mad that all women want the “highest class man” when men have been doing the same for ages. They want the cheerleader, the baddie, etc. Ugly women are place holders, a warm hole until men find what they want. When they get left, they ask why they didn’t take care of themselves. Now men see what it’s like to be judged either for things outside of their control, like their attractiveness or height, and their body type, regardless of its “their fault” or not. Just like women.

        Doesn’t make it right, but I don’t know where this idea that body shaming only happens to men came from. The shaming comes from all sides and affects all of us, even the “pretty.”

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 hours ago

          I didn’t say it only happens to men, I said it’s only acceptable when it happens to men.

          Basically if I put on a “no fat chicks” shirt I’m universally (and rightly) panned as a complete asshole by anyone except other dudes who would wear the same shirt, however if some woman puts “no manlets” in her tinder bio it’s “yasss go off queen” universally. If I make fun of small titted women (personally that’s a physical trait I actually prefer, but for the sake of the example) like “small titty committee” I’m clearly an asshole, but if a woman makes a small dick joke it’s all good?

          I’m not even saying “don’t have preferences,” I’m just saying don’t be a prick about them (or do, but then you’re a prick whether you’re a man or a woman). As an example, if I’m going to reject a date with a woman I’m simply not attracted to I don’t say “eww no you’re ugly,” I politely say some variation of “I’m sorry but I’m just not looking for a relationship right now.”

          You touched on it (though you were in defense of it), but two wrongs don’t make a right.

          • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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            2 hours ago

            Basically if I put on a “no fat chicks” shirt I’m universally (and rightly) panned as a complete asshole by anyone except other dudes who would wear the same shirt, however if some woman puts “no manlets” in her tinder bio it’s “yasss go off queen” universally.

            But that’s not true. There are parties on both sides that would cheer and jeer both shirts. I have absolutely seen some women cheer that kind of shit, but it’s not universal. Just like “not all men,” not all women behave like that. Do some women make fun of small dicks, absolutely. Do some men make fun of small dicks. Yes. Do some men and women make fun of attributes they find unattractive, yes. I did not meant to come off as I’m defending the jeering for either, both are inappropriate and cruel, but the idea that women are able to go around just saying whatever about whatever with no push back is false, as well as the idea that people are not still picky about women’s bodies and how they live.

            I still believe that some men are facing this for the first time, so it feels like it’s just them. They didn’t see this when women’s magazines were focused on how to get a man. They didn’t see a issue when only women with a certain shape were in media. They didn’t care that women were plot devices instead of characters. They didn’t care that a lot of “coming of age” movies for girls were about the glow up, and not character development. They not only didn’t care, they got angry when women just started to be included, especially if they aren’t “attractive”, in video games. There was no outcry about how terrible any of that was until women started to get loud about it. And I’m glad that men are included in this movement, because they have been dealing with a lot of shit that they had to bury, but I do not see this “it’s okay to make men feel like shit but not women” attitude universally. And I do not see women no longer being included in the list of targets.

            • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              54 minutes ago

              Again, I’m not saying only women do it either. You seem to be taking my statements out of context. “Universally,” as it may imply, includes men as well who think “have truck so small peepee” jokes are original groundbreaking material. Sure, I don’t mean “literally every human on earth including uncontacted Amazonian tribes in Brazil and babies without the capacity for language” by “universal,” but rather “widely accepted by society” since pedantry is your purview. Yes there are some people who think neither is ok (oh hey look it’s me) but there are more people who think one is ok but not the other (and I’m guessing that’d be you, since you chose to take up the argument on the “pro women bodyshaming men” side when I dared to assert that I see more acceptance of body shaming in one direction than the other.)

              As to women’s magazine’s focus on “how to get a man,” this may come as a surprise, but I’m not an editor of a woman’s magazine and I feel comfortable guessing that most men also do not edit women’s magazines. In fact most men are completely divorced from such publications be it “employed by” or “subscribed to.” I’ve never read a cosmo in my life and honestly I’d bet no woman under 30 has either, print is so dead reading is a hobby now (and one I enjoy, still not women’s magazines though.) As such I (and likely most men) have absolutely 0, I repeat 0 influence on what is contained within those glossy pages. I can’t blame women for what GQ publishes (the only “men’s magazine” I can think of so sue me) I can just “continue not reading that garbage, and pick up MAD or Mineshaft (the only good magazines I can think of) instead.” In fact many men did see an issue with all that, they still weren’t the publishers, mostly boyfriends and husbands of cosmo obsessed women that said things like “idk where the hell that magazine gets it’s bullshit,” it was widely (that better?) panned for offering crazy unsubstantiated advice like “Shake his nuts like you’re playing Yahtzee.” (Yes, that is an actual cosmo quote, these people can’t be trusted.) Comedians even have bits on it, so many it’s now hack!

              Meanwhile: I have a gun and I drive a truck.

              Now, that’s not true, but what was the first thing you thought of upon reading it? That I’m “clearly compensating for something?” Try posting that same sentiment somewhere else, where it isn’t clearly bait, and see what happens. Then post a pic of some ugly/fat/whatever woman on r/selfie (or somewhere equally “not bait”), and see what happens. Guarantee you’ll see one is more widely accepted.

    • Kitathalla@lemy.lol
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      1 day ago

      I’m still holding hope that someday someone taller than me will be amenable to a date. I’m just tired of always being the spinner instead of the spinnee in the dance of life.