• pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    35·
    11 days ago

    I had a… fwb? visit me this weekend and we sat on the couch and I laid my head in his lap and he stroked my hair and I felt cared for and loved and I wished it never happened because going back to loneliness and self hatred is so much worse than just being lonely and miserable the whole time

    How many pounds worth of weighted blankets will it take before I can’t breathe under them

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.worldMEnglish
      23·
      11 days ago

      You were cared for once, you can be cared for again. I wouldn’t mind playing with your hair as you rest your head in my lap :3

      Self hatred doesn’t help you in any way. It’s not more rational by simply being mean. You are not inherently bad, even if you do bad things. You can always improve, but you never will unless you let that hatred go. It’s never going to be easy or pleasant all the time, but it won’t be only misery either.

    • erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      19·
      11 days ago

      dont worry, you can experience all that again, and not just for fleeting moments, but it wont happen if you give up, so i dont recommend that, dont worry, i believe in you, you will get those cuddles you deserve <3

  • a_robot@lemm.eeEnglish
    13·
    11 days ago

    A girlfriend is what I need, but I’ve given up hope. My final wish is that the void may bring comfort.

    • icecreamtaco@lemmy.worldEnglish
      141·
      11 days ago

      You can still have a 9/10 good life, it’s not so bad. Some people get born in war zones or as ants

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.worldMEnglish
      13·
      11 days ago

      It won’t bring comfort or pain. It won’t bring anything except nothing. Getting there will probably be painful and scary; that’s how it is for most people when they die. Your present will no longer exist because you were hoping for a future that one can never experience.

      From then on, you’ll only exist in the past of countless others who wish you could’ve stayed longer. They might wish for things you never would’ve willingly delivered, or miss you for things about you that weren’t true. They will miss you for a future unrealized, looking ever forward like you once did. However, the greatest sadness will be the moments when they wished you were there.

      …

      Needless to say, not having a girlfriend is a bad reason to not want to live. I doubt it’s even your real reason. The most common reason for hating existence is hating yourself. If that’s the case, you won’t get better until you love you.

      I’ve met several people who couldn’t improve, no matter what they tried. I was stuck in that place for most of my life; cursing that I was born; unable to live for myself. This was all because I was the only person I truly hated. Eventually, I found that my inability to be happy was because I never loved myself. Loving myself wasn’t sufficient for happiness, but it was necessary.

      It was often the thing other people in the same spot needed as well. They had often obtained most of what they needed already, but that one piece was still missing. Don’t need a gf to love you if you have a self that loves you 😁