The only way they got power was by lying and cheating

It becomes more magic!

Hmmm… That’s a pretty valid argument. Now, normally, I’m not a big fan of hitting kids. So that’s why I’m gonna hit you instead. Get over here, you little shit!

Tattorack uses octothorpe. It’s not very effective!

2.a-i (I don’t know how to cite an executive order. Section 2, subsection a, part 1)

seek, in appropriate cases, the reversal of Federal or State judicial precedents and the termination of consent decrees that impede the United States’ policy of encouraging civil commitment of individuals with mental illness who pose risks to themselves or the public or are living on the streets and cannot care for themselves in appropriate facilities for appropriate periods of time;

I see how they’re planning to use “Trump Derangement Syndrome” if they can get it classified in the DS5.

The coolest part about the money crank is never knowing if it’s attached to anything

… A backwards-running clock is right more often… Unless I’m misreading what you meant.

Ah, got it. It’s like a parent telling their child, “good children pick up their toys,” so the should yells, “then I’m not a good kid!”

Ah, the mullet of naming your child

I assure you that it’s something a modern society does. I wish it didn’t, but apparently we’ve chosen to believe that there is a such thing as a justified rape.

I hear ya and I don’t disagree. Since that’s the case they were given, I applaud them for every single refused indictment. What I’m upset about is that the courts are being tied up by such trumped-up charges and the jurors having their time wasted over such an incredibly stupid attempt at authoritarianism.

Which, I guess any attempt at tyranny is an act of tyranny.

I get that, which why I’m trying to mentally reframe this poster.

William is called Big, Beautiful Bill because he’s so gorgeous that no one can resist him, but he’s also a hulked-out giant. Trump will instantly fall in love, but will have too much pride and homophobia to act on it.

… Until one night, Twat-Tickling Trump says “fuck it,” and tries to become Dick Diving Don. He decides he’s rich and famous enough to get away with moving in on him like a bitch (I still have no clue what this is supposed to mean). That’s when Big, Beautiful Bill turns into Whack-em William and lays out Trump with one slap.

That’s good. The world just got a lot less snorty and needs your help.

“I can assure you that I’m not a pedophile. All of my friends are pedophiles, murderers, and rapists, so I think I’d know if I was a pedophile!”

Imagine your day or week being ruined by jury duty only to find out that you got selected for this horseshit case that shouldn’t have been filed in the first place

- Michael Scott

Alucard, my favorite movie! Watch as two sleepy men wake up and revive a man who barfs blood into desperately unhealthy people and makes them all better just before dissolving a real estate deal.

Shame he’s gonna get lumped in with the other amazing celebrities we lost this week. Even in death, he can’t support solidarity and has to shit on other people’s hard work.

Every time I’ve had yum nua from a restaurant, it had a considerable amount of sauce or dressing in it, likely from the fresh-cooked beef, fish sauce, and lemon juice. Sure, it can wilt the leafy greens, but you’re supposed to eat it quickly, not take it to work for lunch the next day.