• 8 Posts
  • 210 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 8th, 2023

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  • I was looking to buy a jeep.

    I had everything all budgeted out. It’s gonna go with the hella-yella Rubicon maxed out everything. It was gonna be over $70,000.

    Then I found out that they put advertisements in their cars.

    So instead I bought an old Jeep and I’m working on fixing it up and I’m having a lot more fun than I would have being blasted with ads on a 70 fucking thousand dollar vanity vehicle.

    If they offered me the vehicle for free, in exchange for watching ads, I wouldn’t fucking take it.

    If they paid me to own a vehicle that blasted ads at me, I wouldn’t fucking take it.

    I don’t want goddamn ads in my goddamn vehicle.




  • Maybe you live in a world where razor-sharp high-quality scissors are the norm, but every pair of right-handed scissors or “ambidextrous” scissors I have ever used have always torn gift wrapping paper until I got a $14 pair of left-handed scissors.

    It’s not just the cutting blade, it’s also the angle at which you hold it, and how your body twists and contorts when you grip and squeeze.

    Maybe my ergonomics are different from yours. That might be an issue as well, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and not downvote you or anything, but in my personal experience, that has always been the case until I got the scissors that were made for me.


  • I got left-handed scissors for the first time about a year ago, and holy shit, the urge to cut everything.

    The fact that scissors don’t hurt my hand and make it cramp for some stupid reason.

    The fact that I can just glide through gift-wrap like it was paper instead of something that tears and shatters and shreds and looks ugly no matter how hard I work…

    If you’re left-handed and you think left-handed scissors are a meme, go and spend the $14 that it costs for a pair of left-handed scissors and report back and tell me that that shit is not life-changing.

    Left-handed scissors will make a left-handed person feel like they have been being betrayed and deceived and lied to their entire fucking life.



  • I went without sleeping for about 9 days once.

    Before anyone jumps in to correct me, I was having an extreme insomnia attack, and I wasn’t completely sleepless, I would have micronaps where I would be in the middle of a conversation and pause for 30 seconds to a minute and a half while I just zonked the fuck out and then woke immediately right back up again.

    I was losing my fucking shit because I really wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t get that little tingle in my head to go off and say, hey, you’re gonna go to sleep now.

    Finally, the spell broke, and I knew that as soon as I got to a pillow, I was going to go to sleep.

    However, to my dismay, we had to stop by the grocery store before I could get home and go to bed.

    I have vague, sporadic memories of only stepping on the black tiles in the grocery store, walking behind the other patrons, lifting my foot up, and putting it down exactly where theirs had just been, and fondling chicken breasts in an inappropriate manner.

    Most of this happened while I was also walking around with a bottle of “Berry Bear” brand syrup telling the other customers to not worry because “Berry Bear would protect us”.

    As we were checking out, I have a strong memory of seeing the very first cross-dresser in public that I had ever encountered, which appeared to be a very old person, I would say probably in their late 60s, wearing a black dress and thigh-high boots and a wig.

    In the other lane was a woman with incredibly long armpit hair that had been braided into dreadlocks, which had thick white clumps of deodorant stuck to it, and the dreadlocks were so long that they were sticking two to three inches out from her armpits.

    My friends managed to corral me and took me home and I fell asleep and I slept for just shy of three full days.


  • 2nd Thesalonians 2:8-12:

    8 And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming:

    9 Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders,

    10 And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved.

    11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:

    12 That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.