What in the shit??? He totally played golf during the war!

Hey Drink Uncle, are you gonna be a Thanksgiving this year?

::bows::

I’ll be here all week! Don’t forget to tip your waitress!

What did Rosanne ever run for?

The ice cream truck???

(Hey-Ohhhhhhhhhh!!!)

I mean, come on! He has solved something like 8374.33 wars!

Make America Hospitalized Again

Could he BE any higher?

Ah, so she gave him a HJ. Got it.

He most likely will try, but it’s Trump. His track record speaks for itself: he will fuck it up. Bigly.

As we used to say on Reddit (RIP Reddit!): I’ll take things that didn’t happen for $5000, Alex

Yeah, they are going need those here at home for any states insubordinate enough to attempt participation in fair and democratic elections

Looks like Billy Joel is on tour again!

Assassin’s Meal

My heart’s on Fi-Ruh, Elvira

What, me worry?

ROBBER: Pulls out jar of Sanka

AUSSIE: That’s not a coffee (pulls out Nescafe) That’s a coffee!

Headline: Trump easily defeated by group of women

Lulz

They… they have ads in the gas pumps? Do you have to watch the ads before you are allowed to pump?