Meanwhile I’ve seen videos of a woman somehow taking a dildo in her vagina that should have reached all the way into her chest cavity. I don’t know how that works, but it scared me; which meant I had to send it to all my fem friends c:

Edit: they were like, “that’s not how vaginas work, what the fuck” and my response was mostly, “I know, that’s why I sent it to you lmao”

Second twist: the dog is a happily collared and pampered trans puppy girl so it’s fully consensual.

The twist: she’s not breastfeeding the dog, the dog is breastfeeding her.

Red flag. I don’t wanna date people who take the Sims seriously.

Edit: if our Sims are slaves to some mangled abomination then it’s a green flag.

Superman dives headfirst into the lava plug of a supervolcano, the impact causing the plug to crack and crumble, releasing thousands of years of volcanic pressure. Lava spews miles into the air, the caldera itself collapsing as, after thousands of years of erosion, the plug was the only thing still holding it up. The lava runs like oil on water, engulfing everything it touches. No one is safe, no one survives. Children scream as their flesh melts. Lovers hold one another as the ash smothers them alive. Pets asphyxiate from the toxic gasses. Vehicles melt. Homes burn. The cloud of ash ascends to the heavens and God weeps as volcanic winter sets in; causing famine and mass starvation as crops can no longer grow under the limited sunlight and frigid temperatures. A mass extinction event is triggered. Half of the extant species die as the perpetual winter disrupts their natural food chains and causes them to starve or freeze. Superman climbs out of the volcano to face his challenger, somehow miraculously still standing in the midst of the chaos. He puts on his most charming, charismatic grin.

Home insurance salesman: “Y-you’ve proven it, Superman… you’ve proven it…”

What if the killer was the Costco founder? He told the United Healthcare CEO the same thing and then followed through.

Why does everyone find the “hawk tuah” meme funny? It’s probably one of the lamest, most forced memes I’ve heard in a while.

Nah, Denethor gave a pent-up troll a blowjob.

reverse nepobaby? How does that work? His kid gave birth to him and then hired him?

Add a bald head with a barcode on the back and you don’t even need charisma.

Damn, this is actually kinda huge. Until now, humans were the only animals that have an undisputed, widely accepted and scientifically supported ability to count. However, the evidence they’ve laid out makes it seem obvious that crows can count.

It’s one thing for an animal to consistently make the right number of noises in response to a stimulus, it’s another thing for them to actually modulate their first call to indicate the number of calls that will follow. Then, the fact that they seem to occasionally miscount (use a first call that corresponds to the correct number but calling an incorrect number of times) would appear to further support this conclusion.

That’s actually kinda amazing. If the research successfully goes through peer review and gets reproduced in independent labs then I imagine it’d set a new standard or become a guide for determining whether or not an animal can count.

What do you expect? There’s a reason everyone who has a desire to maintain their sanity has defederated from them.

Vaseline, Velcro, Mace and Styrofoam aren’t generic? The fuck? I didn’t even know those were trademarked names. Vaseline maybe, but the other three are common enough that I was sure they were generic.

Man, a lot of people here don’t understand how the music industry works. From the perspective of someone who’s been loosely following the music industry, what I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter if Spotify gave up 2/3rds of their revenue, or 100% of it, the artists would still make fuck all.

Why?

The labels love taking their cuts and as a result, artists make very little. Instead of taking the blame for giving artists a <10% cut of the label’s revenue from their music (my understanding is that it’s pretty common for musicians to get <10%, sometimes <5% if you’re on a particularly shitty label), the labels are blaming platforms like Spotify.

Now, I’m not saying that Spotify is blameless, however I think there’s a lot of misdirection from the labels going on. I don’t remember anyone complaining about pre-spotify services like Pandora Radio for not paying out enough when they were largely ad-supported, which is another reason I’m not totally buying the, “it’s cause it’s free” argument either.

Fuck, remember Pandora?

That cougar looks very friendly though. 10/10 would pspspsps.

I had to look this up. What the fuck? They came up with numbers up to 60 and then just said “eh, fuck it” and made 70 “sixty-ten”, 80 “four-twenties” and 90 “four twenties ten”.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE OLIVES JUST SHOVE THEM INTO MY MOUTH OM NOM NOM OH GOD THEY’RE DELICIOUS SO TASTY MMMMMMM GOOD OLIVES NICE OLIVES CHOP THEM UP AND PUT THEM ON PIZZA AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE OLIVES THEN FUCK YOU OLIVES ARE DELICIOUS YOU CAN FUCK OFF BACK TO BIG LINGUINI TRYING TO RUIN THE NAME OF DELICIOUS OLIVES THEY ARE MY LIGHT AND JOY OLIVES ARE SO GOOD I CANNOT HELP MYSELF I WILL EAT ONE OR TWO OR A THOUSAND I AM BECOME OLIVE