Also from the bio (can’t imagine why this nugget didn’t make it into the movie):

In 2008, John Constantine located the skeleton of [Saint] Nikolaus and arranged to have the remains shipped back to England for use in an occult ritual. In order to get the remains through customs, Constantine had them ground into powder and convinced the customs agent that it was gardening fertilizer. He used some of the powder for his ritual, then snorted the rest as if it were cocaine, musing about how it was going to be a “White Christmas”.

A Superman endorsement of, “hey, it’s better than a mug of every deadly microbe,” sealed its fate.

But it’ll put hair on your lip. Just look at how much it helped me!

I think there’s a clue there as to how the artist knew what those cards looked like.

Maybe that will teach him not to wear horizontal stripes.

Maybe he should check wherever he’s keeping his body.

Serves him right. You always, ALWAYS check line of sight for possible boulders before touching the trigger. It’s basic sense.

Well, no wonder they crashed the plane.

But still prepared for every eventuality!

Apropos nothing in particular, is it a mark of a villain to keep several just-in-case primates in your spare bedroom? You really don’t know when you might need some. I don’t feel villainous.

It looks like Uncle Sam was holding a lump of coal. That fits.

Did he really have to cut it, though? The barrel is already sticking out the other side.

He’s always mad because every time his name is said, someone snickers.

Ok, but that doesn’t rhyme

Rajneeshees! My mom bought a red jumper for my little sister one year and would occasionally call her “my little Rajneeshee” on days she wore it. But only in private, because we were in rural Oregon and it was the late 80s.

Is that a toaster? My toaster doesn’t do windows either, but in my experience that’s normal.

Is football the universal language?

I don’t know what’s going on here, but I can definitely identify with Orange’s feelings.

I don’t understand how any of this results in the slice being larger than the loaf.

They do. I wish I had included the label because now I’m not sure and we bought these things years ago.