

Ask her what she needs you to do or say during those moments. Anxiety is different for everyone, and what might calm one person might be more anxiety-inducing for her. Just make sure to ask when she isn’t in an attack!
Something that helps me when I’m nervous about calling someone I’m dating is to make some of the calls a “date”. Watch a show or play a game together, that way conversation is focused on what you’re doing together. This way you don’t have to stress about making interesting conversation (because the activity is making things interesting for you).
That is something my mother said to me a lot. Along with, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it”. It’s fucked up, because it’s not like anyone chooses to be born. These are not normal things for a parent to say by any means. It’s emotional abuse.
You deserve better than that! It’s not easy cutting ties with family, but life is a lot easier when you’re not dealing with such a toxic, resentful human in your life.