You can, and should, normalize saying suicide and kill myself; at least when we’re having these types of discussions. And I say this because I know it’s a social stigma that makes people uncomfortable.

It’s supposed to make people uncomfortable.

Part of the overall problem is that we as a society decided that saying things like suicide and killing myself is so horrible we have to hide away from speaking about it directly. So we make up euphemisms or we censor words. It demeans the severity of the topic; and make no mistake, it’s a serious topic.

I think about killing myself multiple times a day too. Back in my early twenties, I attempted suicide no less than 5 times: from cutting my wrist with a dull razor blade, to getting drunk and taking a bottle of antihistamines and going up top a ten story parking deck and hoping I’d be fucked up enough to not be scared of jumping; it’s real, it’s important, and it needs to be discussed sometimes.

If you feel like the well-being of your friends is enough to keep you here, then start with that, but don’t stop. It’s never enough to live for someone else. You should go deeper and find something more meaningful to you that will keep motivating you to wake up every day. Set some obtainable goals that you can work toward. It can be anything that motivates you and doesn’t necessarily need to be life-altering or huge.

But also a word of warning: if you live your life for others, you will eventually get let down. Make sure you have a solid plan b in place for if/when that happens.