• Banana@sh.itjust.works
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    25 days ago

    This is great but that line about unborn children is so jarring and feels out of place. I wonder what the intended feeling was for that line.

    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.worldOP
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      25 days ago

      I feel like maybe it’s that the writer is not confident they’ll stay together long enough to have children no matter how much he loves her.

    • HypnoticSheep@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      Yeah that threw me as well, though I do really enjoy the possibly unintended rhyme between it and the following line. I feel like just about any other analogy would fit better in its place, but thinking about it now that also might’ve been the idea behind it- those jarring, unwanted thoughts that pop into a peaceful reverie and send you downstairs to start the coffee.