• notabot@piefed.social
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    23 hours ago

    Barbie was a Sergeant in the US Marine Corps, where she served in Operation Desert Storm and was decorated for actions above and beyond the call of duty. She’s as deadly as she is plastic.

    • drolex@sopuli.xyz
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      3 hours ago

      I’ve heard Sir Christopher Lee declined to play her part in Peter Jackson’s Barbie biopic. Too violent. “Ah Peter, do you know what it’s like to eat the mandibular nerve of a nazi soldier in order to replenish your forces when you have been dropped behind enemy lines? It’s a messy business, but it’s necessary. I had to do it, but I didn’t do it happily… in the beginning at least. Oh yes Peter. Anyway, do you know why we called Barbie “the plastic girl”? She would place explosives in very clever places. The human body holds so many secrets.”