So, I have a younger sister (14F, Freshman) “Liz”. Liz used to go to group therapy with this one dude, (16FtM, Sophomore) “Asher”. She actually used to date him for like a week until Asher broke up with her because he already had a boyfriend. So yeah, I don’t see him as a good influence.
He keeps wanting to have Liz sleep over at his house, which my parents would allow since he was “born a girl” and they let anyone who can’t get my sisters pregnant (for some reason) have sleepovers. Anyway, Asher keeps trying to offer Liz weed and whiskey/vodka. Of course, she’s curious, but I really don’t like how Asher seems to be and I don’t know if I should set something up with our parents to not have her come over to Asher’s. Or should I let her experiment and try it and not say anything despite how I feel?
I would talk to her, just share your vibes and concerns, and say be careful. Also remind her you are always there for her if she needs anything.
A little advice is good if it’s genuine and the communication is between equals.
Potentially also figure out if there is a way to safely ask your sister if Asher is only offering weed/booze when its with a group of people or only when its the two of them alone.
Also remind her you are always there for her if she needs anything.
Be more specific with her: “I don’t care how much trouble you think you’ll be in for what circumstances you find yourself in, if you EVER feel scared or unsafe, call me and I will drop whatever I have going on and get you to safety with zero judgment.”
Careful not to demonize the weed or booze too much. She should know that weed is a terrible habit, especially before 21, and can make you dumb for life if you end up smoking every week between 14 and 21.
But once isn’t really going to hurt her if it isn’t the start of a habit.
The DARE thing of “not even once” doesn’t really work. Sure, it’s better not to start. And you can make that clear. But if you push that line too hard and they find out you exaggerated, there’ll be backlash.
It’s a fine line to walk. Which is why the DARE generation didn’t try to walk it.
Can you be there with her? Maybe clue your parents in that it’s a bad idea, and encourage them to have Asher over at their house instead.
