I’m going Orange. I feel like all of the others would naturally follow.
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Obviously I’m teleporting to Albania.
If I could teleport other people into a Tool music video, this wins hands down.
“Albanian Transporter” would be a pretty sick nickname of an assassin whose movements seem to defy the laws of physics.
Sounds like a perverse sex move to me.
The problem being that if your are out of the country (and you can’t teleport back to anywhere else), you now need to explain to the authorities how you managed to get in without a movement record.
Although it might be useful if you are a local and just need to dodge a bullet or escape a mugging by random teleportation.
The black teleport one. You rob a bank and then teleport away so you can’t be tracked? The means of escape is usually how they track you down. So, suddenly being able to teleport thousands of miles in a moment?
Also, it’d be really useful for interstellar stuff. You only need enough fuel, food, and air to go one way. Strap me onto the rocket to Mars! I’d even hop back with huge sacks of Mars rocks to give to NASA. We’ve figured out the trek to Mars, its the getting back that’s been the problem.
People here talk about doing crime with the black pill, but I would instead just be the perfect astronaut.
Think about it, they could shoot you in space without having to think about how to get you back. No landing, no parachute, just a one way rocket launch.
Space agencies would be practically forced to hire you on the spot.
You underestimate the vastness of space and the reach we have with current technology.
Not having to worry about return frees up a lot of delta-v budget. Less need for supplies frees up more. It’d massively improve payload.
Can you bring anything with you? Is it a naked thing or do you bring clothes? What counts as clothes? Can you ‘wear’ a two tonne rock? Etc
Anything you bring back has to be internal.
make it a 1 ton rock
Is skin internal?
Alllll the way up, Morty.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yes but it sounds like it is going to be more useful for scientist than it is going to be for you who will be left with the boredom.
ur telling me I can get a /home command and all I need to do is become Albanian?
What would you even do with it?
Impress my dates, of course!
“Look at this, babe” *arm turns purple*
“Oh god…”
“I know. You wait and see what else does that! ;)”
Red, can I also change each eye to a different colour?
Sure, why not, go crazy.
Uhmmmm can I also teleport back from Albania? If so, then sure. I hate travelling so I never really go far, being able to go to Albania and back at the blink of an eye would be chill. Going for a nice lunch walk and then teleport back. Otherwise I’ll go with the eye colour I guess, the rest is useless.
Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but it’s a one way ticket?
Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.
And they’ll be waiting for you in Tarana Albania, every time.
Everywhere? The first thing I would do is take a 3 month vacation and scout the entire city.
Best chances are to bribe the politicians and police, then you can get away with a lot.
Showing up with armfuls of bribes each time should help.
Staying anonymous would be the best way though, especially if your goings try it more than once.
Nobody said your stuff teleports. Just you. Don’t be greedy.
It didn’t say that anywhere. Next thing is that the dog doesn’t actually speak Cantonese but only understands it.
This is like the inverse of the trope of genies twisting your wish around.
His barks are the equivalent of the barks of a actual dog in Cantonese speaking regions.
Speaks Cantonese, but the “dog accent” is so thick that nobody can understand
Spawn camping
I think they’d catch on to me after I got flagged 5 times in one year leaving Albania with no record of entering the country in between.
get an apartment closest to the teleport place, travelling is now cheaper as you never have to worry about the way back.
One time I was in Spain and I found 5 Australian dollars on the floor in a train station. I picked it up and pocketed it. The same day, I climbed a bell tower in some museum/remains and was chilling up there for half an hour, without anybody else coming up. Eventually another person came up and said hi. Recognised they were Australian so I asked them if they wanted 5 dollars and they said “…yeah?” And I gave it to them. No explanation.
I laugh sometimes thinking of the story from their perspective, climbing a Spanish bell tower and meeting an English guy at the top who hands them 5AUD, like a NPC in an RPG.
The Cantonese speaking dog is pretty cool. I like the Albania teleporting till I realized I need to get out of Albania
Red. My eye colour already changes randomly, although less often and more subtly than it did when I was younger.
I’d love to be able to control it and confuse people.
DOG. Always dogs. More dogs. I want to pet all the dog.
I can get a dog I can talk to with a translator app? Hell yeah
Right?I will learn Cantonese to be able to talk to my dog.
Your dogs says: Bow wow wow yippie yay yippie yo.
Now that I think about it, Im the spare human. They would just speak to me like if they were the protagonists in a 1970’s Kung Fu movie and Im Pai Mie. “Filthy Ape! Once I defeat you, I will sleep next to mother, and you will sleep in hell! I would also like to be let out…”
