Years back I experienced some form of Aphasia due to a combination of head injury and depression. I was in denial at first but finally admitted something was wrong when I struggled for nearly 10 min to remember the word “deli” and had to resort to calling it a “meat kiosk”. As it turns out, my already wacky vernacular and limited social contact had masked what was actually a pretty serious condition and while I still understand everything inside my head, I was entirely unable to find the language to communicate some of the most basic things.
I had to teach myself English from the ground up, researching words, building associations. In the process I found out I have no inner monologue, Anendophasia it’s called, I can see everything clear as day in my mind but I don’t hear it, sometimes music and tunes but not coherent. Closest I get is kind of like subtitles, like when you’re incredibly focussed on each word in a book.
Having to relearn communication from the ground up and with the aforementioned tricky caveat to learning, I went about it in the way I found easiest which was rabbit holes, hyper fixation, and enjoyable media. As such, my mannerisms and vocabulary are incredibly distinct when spoken and it writing it ocillates between flowery and academic. No doubt obvious in this post… People frequently get confused by my accent, it’s clearly not local but close enough that it’s not foreign. The best descriptions I’ve ever been given were “if a posh cartoon was pretending to be every midwesterner at once” and “like an Eldrich being making fun of Nebraska.” It was intentional to come off that way, it’s just where I landed as I practiced words in my head. Though apparently I can’t escape the Kansas pin/pen problem, they sound identical to and from me.
So now my vocabulary is wackier than ever. While it wouldn’t seem likely from this post, I’ve had time to meander here and in conversation this post would be summed up as something along the lines of :
back in the day I had bonk and the big sad, totally wiped my English. Called deli’s the meat kiosk and couldn’t name fruits. So I learn mah words from scratch, picked up a few shinies and a pinch for being’ bombastic, now you got what you get! Talkin’s just gettin’ the point across and I’m tickled pink when someone gets it and still has to ask.
Years back I experienced some form of Aphasia due to a combination of head injury and depression. I was in denial at first but finally admitted something was wrong when I struggled for nearly 10 min to remember the word “deli” and had to resort to calling it a “meat kiosk”. As it turns out, my already wacky vernacular and limited social contact had masked what was actually a pretty serious condition and while I still understand everything inside my head, I was entirely unable to find the language to communicate some of the most basic things.
I had to teach myself English from the ground up, researching words, building associations. In the process I found out I have no inner monologue, Anendophasia it’s called, I can see everything clear as day in my mind but I don’t hear it, sometimes music and tunes but not coherent. Closest I get is kind of like subtitles, like when you’re incredibly focussed on each word in a book.
Having to relearn communication from the ground up and with the aforementioned tricky caveat to learning, I went about it in the way I found easiest which was rabbit holes, hyper fixation, and enjoyable media. As such, my mannerisms and vocabulary are incredibly distinct when spoken and it writing it ocillates between flowery and academic. No doubt obvious in this post… People frequently get confused by my accent, it’s clearly not local but close enough that it’s not foreign. The best descriptions I’ve ever been given were “if a posh cartoon was pretending to be every midwesterner at once” and “like an Eldrich being making fun of Nebraska.” It was intentional to come off that way, it’s just where I landed as I practiced words in my head. Though apparently I can’t escape the Kansas pin/pen problem, they sound identical to and from me.
So now my vocabulary is wackier than ever. While it wouldn’t seem likely from this post, I’ve had time to meander here and in conversation this post would be summed up as something along the lines of :
back in the day I had bonk and the big sad, totally wiped my English. Called deli’s the meat kiosk and couldn’t name fruits. So I learn mah words from scratch, picked up a few shinies and a pinch for being’ bombastic, now you got what you get! Talkin’s just gettin’ the point across and I’m tickled pink when someone gets it and still has to ask.