Hello there, we got permission from the mod of this community to post about our sibling community here.
We created a sibling community at !transfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone that uses a transfem flag we found.
The community will have a different feel and rules to it to this one, so please check out the rules if any here do join it
Thanks for reading this post :).
We have been told by some that they were uncomfortable with the feel of this place due to the transmedicalist language and such.
Therefore we want to make a place away from that and make it more welcoming to all, away from such things that those who find such things upsetting can thrive and feel more comfortable.
We want to see more participation from those who welcome a space that is heavily moderated and feel more comfortable in a space without even casual bigotry or harmful ideas about themselves or others as we have noticed other trans beings can be overwhelmingly cynical, self deprecating or just generalising and this has harmed us and our friends in the past.
We want it to be open to more types of experiences as well as such intersections as being both trans gender and species etc, types of femininity that don’t fit squarely in the trans woman mold, or a certain ways of performing femininity, which we notice is most of this community we are in currently.
We hope this makes sense and thanks for asking!
i think i would be too anxious about messing up to participate. i have all sorts of internalized bad stuff that i’m working to overcome, but it sounds like a nice place. maybe i’ll have my shit together enough some day to join.
hope you can <3.
To be clear, it isn’t bad to find things difficult and adressing it and dealing with it in the community we have created would be okay.
It is more there is a certain way many transfems talk about these experiences like self-deprecating and shaming themselves and by extension others.
So like it’s okay to say like “I am struggling with feeling bad because of X, Y and Z” reasons in the community we have created, but not like “I am a <ableist slur>” and such, there’s a certain feel of self- deprecation and shaming that many in transfem communities seem to like, or yes, struggle with, that we want those joining the community to consider and not expose themselves or others to. It’s a difficult balance to strike though and we get that.
We aren’t here to punish any, more like try and stop a certain way we have seen transfems communicate their struggles that gives 8d6 psychic damage to themselves and others in the process.
We do understand the value of a place where transfems can and we are therefore glad this place exists for those who need to, or want to, but we have found this place often causes us more dysphoria, and we have been told by some of our friends the same, for a few reasons, even on the more positive posts.
We hope you understand better now and we have not caused you any harm.
hi! saw the cele/celes pronouns, but not sure if ‘you’ is appropriate when addressing a plural entity/these ones in particular, so please correct me if that’s wrong. i just want to apologize for not responding to this sooner - i’d been logged out and didn’t realize you’d sent another reply. first, want to assure you that you’ve not caused me any harm, but thank you for checking in. i appreciate what you are trying to create and i totally understand how the way some folks communicate their mental health struggles could potentially be harmful to themself and others. i know my own negative self talk is a life-long battle that i continue to struggle with, but i see now that i could communicate about it better when needed without simultaneously spreading my own poison around, so i am sorry if i hurt you or anyone else when doing so and will try to hold myself to a higher standard. thanks for the additional context.