This is an unsent message to the mother of my ex who cheated on me. The mother doesn’t know about the cheating, but she’s accepted that we’re not getting back together. To her, things just ended abruptly from the daughter’s side without a good reason. However, she still messages me every now and then, to check up on me. And honestly I am tired of saying that I am doing better or ok. It hasn’t been even a month since the break up. And it has been hard given that I am in a foreign country, My family, my close social circle are not here, I am not a very social person. And I can’t keep asking the friends here to come and meetup so often. I haven’t responded to the mother for a few days now. And she asked me if I am mad at her? I don’t know how to respond, so here’s a rant.

I am not mad at you. Please don’t think that. It’s just exhausting to write every time that I am doing good, when in reality I am not. How do you expect me to move on from this so easily? I wanted to do so much for your daughter. This is the person I loved, I planned to marry. She let me know that she had feelings for me too. She made me feel safe. We were living together. And look, how abruptly things shattered. How quickly she went from the person who loved me to the person who indifferently told me that she only lived with me because she couldn’t afford to live anywhere else. She just left me here, alone in this apartment. She broke my trust. With how quickly she broke up, it shows she had no intention of repairing the relationship. As soon as things go bad she leaves. She thinks everyone is her enemy, even her loved ones, including you. You’ve tried for years to make her not think this way. but she still doesn’t trust you. But you will always be there for her, I really wish you do. She needs help. But I have no one here. I am alone. I know you’re trying to help me as well, and I am very thankful for it, but you remind me of her, you remind me of the connection that I have lost.